THOUGHTS I HAVE WHEN MY ALARM GOES OFF ON THE FIRST DAY BACK AT WORK AFTER HOLIDAYS

  1. Oh my god, are you freaking kidding me?
  2. It feels like I only just got to sleep.
  3. It's still dark.
  4. This has to be some horrible joke.
  5. Why did I set this alarm so loud?
  6. Why is my phone so far away?
  7. Snooze, snooze, snooze. Where the fuck is the snooze?!
  8. Ah, that's better.
  9. Now I can just lightly sleep for a bit. That's not too bad.
  10. I wonder how many times I can press the snooze button before I absolutely have to get up?
  11. Hang on, I set 3 alarms. If I press snooze on all 3 of those alarms, how long will it take for that to get so annoying the only alternative is just to get out of bed?
  12. Oh god, the alarm is going off again. Is this the first snooze finishing or the second alarm?
  13. Snooze.
  14. Rolling over, getting more comfortable in this light sleep I am enjoying.
  15. Ugh, this is ridiculous. The alarm is going off again. If this wasn't my phone, and I actually needed it, I would try hurling it across the room to make it stop permanently.
  16. Snooze.
  17. I'm getting good at pressing snooze with my eyes shut now. Excellent.
  18. Alarm. Snooze. Very smooth.
  19. Alarm. Snooze.
  20. Alarm. Snooze.
  21. Alarm. Snooze.
  22. Alarm. Snooze.
  23. This is starting to get really annoying.
  24. I wonder what the time is.
  25. The next time the alarm goes off I'm checking the time.
  26. Ugh, now I'm late! Why didn't I just get up after the first snooze? Or the second?
  27. I open my eyes fully and turn on the light. My cat is sitting on the end of the bed, judging me.
  28. I get up.
  29. And so the day begins.