In other words, times when I have absolutely no chill whatsoever.
  1. When I start going to the gym and suddenly every skinny-assed co-worker then starts going to the gym too. When they don't really need to.
    And then they stand around telling each other how great they're all looking in their designer neon Lycra with matching gym bags while I stand there in a pair of shitty track pants looking like the Before Shot in some B-grade weight loss magazine they hand out for free in suburban shopping centers. Fuck off. I've had enough.*
  2. People who push in the queue right in front of me.
    Again, fuck off. Learn some basic human decency.**
  3. When I'm trying to Shazam something in the Ladies and someone uses the hand dryer just as the song is finishing.
    Incredibly inconsiderate and rude.***
  4. * Yes, I know. Don't judge me. It's where I'm at right now.
  5. ** There are some exceptions to this. For example, if an elderly or disabled person pushes in then I have some chill.
  6. *** It's best not to ask.
  7. Disclaimer: I am slightly grumpy today as I did not sleep well. Very strange dreams involving Angela Lansbury, Tom Hanks and a flower shop. An odd combination.
  8. I also may have to delete this list should should aforementioned skinny-assed co-workers join list.
    It's only a matter of time when this is no longer my very own online playground.