1. Ramen seasoning counts as a vegetable
  2. I can turn my alarm clock off in my sleep
  3. Pizza tastes better at 2 AM
  4. Leaving passive aggressive post-it notes is an act of war
  5. Lucky Charms is an acceptable option for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
  6. The waitress always knows when you're drunk
  7. She also doesn't care because drunk people tip more
  8. If a professor introduces himself usimg his first name, he's an easy grader
  9. All-nighters are easy if you have enough coffee and gummy worms