AN OVERVIEW OF GOING OUT ON A FRIDAY NIGHT

I rarely drink, but when I do, this is usually what happens.
  1. Pre game at home until I get just past my drunk sleepy stage.
    If I don't get past this, I don't leave the house. Night over.
  2. Get to the bar, have one more drink.
  3. Gotta pee. Quick bathroom break.
  4. Talk with my friends. Feel happy. Everything is hilarious.
  5. Ready to hit the dance floor.
  6. Dance my heart out with my friends.
  7. A dude tries to start grinding on me without asking.
    Grinding is a disgrace to dancing, and I hate it passionately, but that's a list for another time.
  8. I turn around, smack his shoulder, and scream over the music, "NO. You have to ask first!!"
  9. He runs away, very embarrassed.
    As he should be. It's really so fucking simple. Don't touch me unless I say you can.
  10. Pee again.
  11. Continue dancing my heart out.
  12. Another guy tries to dance up on me.
  13. Repeat shaming techniques. He leaves.
  14. Another dude comes up and says "isn't it funny how guys just think they can do that without asking?!"
  15. "Yeah, I just want to dance alone. It's very annoying."
  16. *Dude continues to talk to me about how other guys are gross, while also hitting on me in a creepy way*
    A la "You don't deserve that, Beautiful"
  17. Dance myself away from him.
  18. Pee for a third time.
  19. Continue dancing until my friends want to leave.
  20. Pee for a fourth time.
  21. Uber home.
  22. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz