ALLOW ME TO LISTRODUCE™ MYSELF

Bonjour!
  1. I'm not French.
    However I speak French (rustily) and I speak franglais (fluently).
  2. I was an English major.
    That was beaucoup de lunes ago – 35 années to be exact. I'm going to my 35-year college reunion in less than two weeks.
  3. I'm a master procrastinator.
    Whaddya think I'm doing now?
  4. I get most everything on my to-do-lists (no relation to li.st) done eventually.
    See I'm getting this done, right?
  5. I was born, raised, and live in Des Moines.
    Not Des Moines, Washington nor Des Moines, New Mexico.
  6. I've lived in other places.
    Aha, I can eke out another list naming those places.
  7. I like to write.
    Lots.
  8. I don't like to write.
    Lots.
  9. I have bipolar disorder.
    Ugh when will they come up with a better name for it? I prefer the previous name: manic-depression.
  10. I'm a low-income art collector i.e. I collect marvelous art on my limited income.
    L'art est ma religion.
  11. I'm gay.
    Yes I Am. I started to come out as a lesbian in the 70s... Or was it the 80s?
  12. I live in an apartment.
    Ooh, I dig my digs but it bugs me when they get messy (like now).
  13. I had cancer.
    Fortunately I've been cancer-free for almost 20 years.
  14. I love my family and friends.
    And I'm lucky to be loved too.
  15. I dye my hair.
    Not only my hairdressers know.
  16. This is the view from where I and my iPad sit right now.
    It's tidy up time, which it's been for a long time.
  17. This is unkempt me at the moment.
    Damn I need to take a shower — especially because my chum Charles and I are going to an Iowa Cubs game tonight (if it doesn't get rained out).
  18. Au revoir!
    A bientôt ⚜