Subway thoughts

Just a collection of thoughts from a twentysomething woman in transit.
  1. Has anyone famous' tush ever been in this seat?
  2. Has anyone ever taken a shit in this seat?
  3. I wonder how many germs are on those poles? Can I contract the bubonic plague via subway pole?
    This is a real thing. I read an article about this once. Never let it go.
  4. I'm definitely going to get kicked in the face by this subway pole dancer.
  5. If I fall asleep right now how far would I go? Jersey? Narnia?
  6. Oh god. I just made prolonged eye contact with Hipster-boy McNiceHair. Are we married now?
  7. I'll bet he smells like sandalwood and my parent's disapproval.
  8. And he got off the train. Dammit.
  9. Is the subway system the human equivalent to an ant hill? Just tunnels, sweat, and feces?
  10. If there was an apocalypse right now and the only survivors were the passengers on this train car who would be our leader? .....more importantly who would I hook up with?
    #priorities
  11. This guy man spreading next to me is probably a Slytherin.
  12. Why the color orange for the seats? Was there research done to decide the color and orange seemed the best option? Because if so might I suggest a nice purple instead?