REASONS WHY I SHOULD BUY THAT RUN-DOWN MANSION

There's a mansion for sale in my neighborhood. It's a steal.
  1. 1.
    5800 sq ft just gets me started
  2. 2.
    I love sweeping and brooms
  3. 3.
    I'm disorganized and could have junk rooms instead of just junk drawers
  4. 4.
    It's amazing, almost affordable - and would probably define my life