because there is no other title that screams "idealistic teen" in such an ambiguous way
  1. Quietly Meet a Celebrity
    Like by waiting behind them in a Starbucks line, so that when we get our drinks the barista will say "Here is a grande cold brew for Julia and a venti iced green tea for Angelina with a to-go croissant for her husband Brad!
  2. Become Google-able
    So that when someone searches me, they see me instead of the library in Connecticut I share a name with
  3. Read all of the great works of literature this amazing world has to offer
    AKA: stop buying People Magazine every time I'm at the grocery store
    Examples: fill up gas tank BEFORE cruising range is <10 miles, NEVER use "omg" or "lol" in verbal OR nonverbal communication, eat more brown rice
  5. Get all the Snapchat trophies
    Ugh. Such an annoying Mellenial (/Gen Z???) Scratch that. New goal: stop caring about things like snapchat trophies