1. I won't eat gluten.
    I mean it makes me shit out my molars, but I know. It is annoying.
  2. I vermicompost
    Yes, I have worms. Not me literally, mind you.
  3. I am a compulsive slob.
    But I really want to be a neat freak. This is a very particular hell.
  4. On a similar note, i married a hoarder and for awhile I tried to appease him by keeping everything.
    I don't do this anymore but I take an inordinate amount of time to decide whether something can be trashed. I've kept ziplock bags I thought I could reuse for months before throwing them in the trash in a tantrum.
  5. I make my dog's food.
    I don't eat it though.
  6. I don't feel obligated to wear makeup.
    Yet I don't have one of those faces that that makes sense for.
  7. I crack not only my knuckles, but also, and especially, my ankles
  8. If I have a muscle twitch, I will stop everything to watch it.
  9. I routinely swear at inanimate objects and believe they (or some power controlling them) are out to make sure I maintain a moderate level of annoyance at all times.
    You fucking piece of asshattery, do you have nothing better to do, you sorry fuckface?