TRAUMATIC TIMES I GOT IN TROUBLE AS A KID (AND WHAT I IMAGINED THE PUNISHMENT WOULD BE)

  1. Age 8: Plagiarized a note authorizing my friend to come home with me after school (even put it on a Starbucks napkin for authenticity)
    Jail
  2. Age 11: Spelled "cum" in a game of human scrabble (didn't even know what it meant)
    Jail
  3. Age 13: Staged a 40-person sit in protesting the freezing lake at camp
    Jail
  4. Age 10: Spat out a pomegranate seed at a PE teacher (this was an accident)
    Jail
  5. Age 9: Broke a classroom window during a heated game of monkey in the middle (also an accident!)
    Jail