Why not indulge in some mild stalking of people you may or may not know irl.
  1. Browse favorites.
    Anyone can look through tweets and replies. But the true secrets of the psyche lie in those little gold stars. And if their favorites are hidden? They are clearly not to be trusted.
  2. Incognito LinkedIn search.
    Facebook might tell you who from your graduating class has kids, but LinkedIn hints at who might be filthy rich. Incognito is necessary because LinkedIn is a narc and will blow your creep cover via email.
  3. Search username + keyword.
    This is the best way to find thoughts on very niche topics, like a celebrity breakup that happened years ago that is still a source of mild trauma for you.
  4. Create a secret insta for hate follows.
    You don't want anyone to know you're heavily invested in a terrifying mommy blogger and her sponsored #content. But that doesn't mean you should deprive yourself of any posts about moonlight, her child's rosy cheeks, cream linens, and fresh cut flowers.