Etiquette of being a Jeopardy! champion

These are the things I've learned, because having vast trivial knowledge doesn't prepare you for how to deal with attention. One more tag for @ChrisK . Thanks for the welcome to li.st!
  1. When you win your match, you will walk around in an adrenaline haze for a few minutes.
    You just achieved a childhood dream, probably. Soak it in! You will most likely have to tape another game soon, so enjoy it quickly. I was lucky enough to be taping a Friday show when I won, though, which meant that I got to drink alcohol much more quickly.
  2. Defend your championship.
    I failed. To my credit, all three contestants got the Final wrong, so I didn't feel particularly stupid. At that point, I had won what I felt (as a 25-year old) was an obscene amount of money, so I was okay.
  3. Smoke a cigarette with your fellow loser.
    They let us walk behind the soundstage to blow off steam. Mind you that this is LA, so we knew it was frowned upon.
  4. DON'T TELL ANYONE!
    Of course you want to tell everyone about your victory, but YOU CAN'T. Sorry. You have to sign non-disclosure agreements stating that you won't spoil the outcome. This is perhaps the hardest part.
  5. Go home, play coy.
    Your family hates you right now.
  6. Hold a viewing party.
    This is a must. The big reveal! Friends who haven't made time for you in months will attend, and they will drink your beer even before they know of your windfall! If you live in a small town, then the local news channel will come. This will cause you to put on lipstick and false lashes.
  7. Watch your mailbox.
    Your winnings arrive in the mail approximately 3 months after your air date.
  8. Be prepared for a mess at the bank.
    They will look at your check for several minutes, while looking at you with great scrutiny. Don't fidget. The teller will tell you that she has to check on your legitimacy because it is such a large sum of money. Finally, the adjacent teller will come to your rescue: "I watched you on the local TV news channel!" She probably remembered your false lashes. It works! Your check gets deposited with no waiting period.
  9. Go to Target, go crazy.
    Yes. This is the first thing that you do.
  10. Tell everyone that will listen.
    Use it as an opener in bars. Hell, put it on your resume. IT WORKS.
  11. After a couple of years, you're spent.
    Respect it. Don't lead with it when you introduce yourself to others. It has to come out organically now, like if someone asks you if you've ever been on TV or if someone comments on how great you are at trivia. You get a lot of pleasure when someone says, "you'd be great on Jeopardy!" and you can tell that person that you've been there, done that. Shame on him or her for not remembering your lashes.