tw for sexual assault, drugs, profanity // I was a precocious baby and wasn't really as wise as I thought I was
  1. the word "fuck"
    I asked a more experienced peer what this word meant in first grade and she told me it meant you hate God. GO FIGURE
  2. all of Greek mythology
    when I asked my gifted and talented teacher in elementary school, she grimaced (I like to think as she reflected on my yet untarnished innocence) what the word "ravished" meant, she told me to look it up in the dictionary. seriously, everyone in Greek mythology was a product of sexual assault or beastiality or both
  3. Gone With The Wind
    again, another precocious elementary school read. didn't get that Rhett was abusive or why it was bad to be married so much back then or really, the entire Civil War / Reconstruction / term "carpetbagger"
  4. Britney Spears' "Oops, I Did It Again"
    when my mother first heard the lyric "im not that innocent," she immediately turned off the radio, looked at me incredulously, and asked me if I knew what it meant. first grade Julianna answered definitely that yes, she did - but she really didn't
  5. Romancing The Stone
    this movie was the first time I saw sex, or its depiction. I did not really understand what was going on at that point, but Michael Douglas got that map!
  6. every joke in every Jim Carrey / Austin Powers movie ever
  7. Mrs Doubtfire
  8. Janet Jackson's nip slip
    I didn't really realize who Janet Jackson was, nor why nipples were offensive
  9. Breakfast at Tiffanys / The Blue Angel
    they were call girls...?????? this is what happens when you raise your kids with no TV, they become desperate and start watching all of the old random DVDs around the house
  10. Bill C / Monica L
    what really puts this into perspective and how fucked up it is that I have had several friends who are / were White House interns at the same age Lewinksky was. I didn't really get the whole dress joke when I first saw it referenced on South Park and now that I do I would like to hug everyone who has ever had a shitty & unsafe situation perpetuated by a boss that abuses their power