I am antisocial and hate parties and I hate drinking.
  1. "You're the annoying girl from my calc class. I fucking hate you"
  2. "She'll be okay- she just drank 2 bottles of Pinnacle to herself and knows I hate her"
  3. "I should have worn sweatpants, I'm not getting any action in jeans"
  4. "Can I cut in front of you to use the bathroom? My friend just threw up on my shirt and I'm about to throw up too."
  5. "If she comes too close to me I will lowkey fight her in front of every person she's ever fucked"
  6. "If you yell at me again I swear I'm going to knock you out so hard I'm going to have to drag your unconscious ass back to campus"
  7. "I tried to dress slutty but something about the objectification of my body makes me depressed"
  8. "I was going to hook up with that guy but then my friend threw her phone on his dick so I'm gonna give him some time"
  9. "I put out Powerade next to my bed in case I decide that maybe I want to have fun tonight, but I think I'll just stand here and judge silently"
  10. "I hate parties because everyone's so ugly and no one acknowledges it"
  11. "Jungle juice may be the leading cause of death; I should try and get funding for a case study"