RANKING OF DISNEYLAND RIDES IN ORDER OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMATIZATION

  1. SPACE MOUNTAIN (dad tricked me into thinking it would be 5 mph whole time)
  2. HAUNTED MANSION (thought ghosts were real)
  3. IT'S A SMALL WORLD (was never 100% on not believing robots came alive at night)
  4. SPLASH MOUNTAINS (my 8 yr old body almost flew out of the log once)
  5. INDIANA JONES (I was the one that looked into the eyes and I'm real sorry okay)
  6. BIG THUNDER (someone legit died on this once)
  7. THE OLD PEOPLE MOVER (someone also legit died on this once)
  8. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN (someone didn't die but there are fsure the ashes of a make a wish kid floating around in that cave area after the first drop)
  9. SAILING SHIP COLUMBIA (someone got struck by one of those steel beams on it, right?)
  10. TOM SAWYER ISLAND (do we really know what's happening in every crevice of that place?)