MIMICKING ADULTHOOD THROUGH MY PARENTS' EXAMPLE

At 21 I'm proud to say I'm almost grown, and these are the things that prove it!
  1. Whispering swears to yourself throughout the day
    Could be Tourette's, except it's not. My favorite coping mechanism.
  2. Opening mail aggressively, sighing, and sorting it into piles
    I don't really get mail so still working on this
  3. Knowing what all the different painted lines on the road mean
    Been driving for 5 years, got this one covered
  4. Being too tired to pick my little sister up from parties that end after 9PM
    The three of us actively argue who has to do it, and they usually end up bribing me with some major $$$ to stay up and do it.
  5. Knowing that you "don't spend money you don't have"
    I know this, they know this. I have student loans and they have mortgages/car loans/credit cards. KNOWING this is different from FOLLOWING it, another nuanced sign of adulthood.
  6. Drinking with their friends
    ✔️ I ain't about to order one of the nasty IPAs they drink but give me a Summer Shandy on tap and I'm ready to talk shit about prom dresses with my mom and her BFF.
  7. Understanding the difference between a tax refund and a tax return
    I was vaguely aware that these were different things and was trying to avoid figuring it out until my mom aggressively taught me this tax season.
  8. Sarcastically commenting on the news
    "I'm SO glad that they decided to paint the smiling bee on the new football field instead of the angry bee because now the other teams won't be as threatened! I'm also glad that they spent an extra $20,000 on it! What's that compared to the new $4 bil sports complex it's a part of?"