PLACES I'VE SEEN MOIRA, MY GUARDIAN ANGEL AND/OR STALKER

ALRIGHT Y'ALL BUCKLE UP ITS GONNA BE A WILD RIDE
  1. BACKSTORY: My freshman year at school I took a lit class called Women and Literature
    It was tight. We read Little House on the Prairie.
  2. There was this old lady who sometimes showed up to class and sometimes didn't.
    I wasn't a fan of her because she would come in late and loudly ask if we had gotten any handouts. Sometimes she would comb her hair. She always had on one of those homemade grandma sweatshirts that heavily features puff paint.
  3. By the end of the semester I figured out that she was auditing the class and her name was Moira.
    More fun facts: she was Jewish and couldn't use computers during religious holidays, not that it really mattered in context of class, because she couldn't access courseweb to get handouts bc she was auditing, as she told us many, many times. We parted ways and I was kind of sad to see her go but she had given me a lot of good stories so I felt like it was time.
  4. Next semester (spring term), I take a lit class called Forms of Prose.
  5. Guess who's there — none other than the famous Moira!
    At first I was amazed. What were the chances?? I told my sister about it and she knew who I was talking about — she had had lit classes with Moira too! She's truly an enigma that just audits all the lit classes she can.
  6. By the end of term, I was 500% DONE with Moira.
    Yeah, my stories got a boost in hilarious factor because she was following me around, but her antics of interrupting class ERRYDAY was seriously dragging on me.
  7. I forgot about her over summer break.
    I spent it off campus.
  8. Next semester (fall of sophomore year), I take a lit class called Literature and the Contemporary.
  9. Yep, Moira's there 🤗🤗🤗
    At this point, I'm kinda outraged. I want this bish to leave me alone. I glare every time she interrupts class and my classmates judge me — why am I being so rude to a lil old lady? But they don't understand, you see — Moira has literally been in every single lit class I've taken at college! I know her ways and I am not a fan of them!
  10. Spring semester of sophomore year, I take a break from lit classes.
    I'm so terrified that Moira will be in this one, too, that I don't risk it.
  11. The summer after my sophomore year, I work/take classes on campus.
    My work building is about a mile away from campus, so I take a shuttle everyday to get back and forth.
  12. One day, I'm sitting in the bus shelter waiting for the shuttle, and Moira shuffles past me, wearing her summer signature: a bucket hat, tank top, and rolling the ever-present carry on suitcase behind her.
  13. At this point I start to wonder — is Moira homeless? Why is she always on campus? And why does she need the suitcase?
  14. A few weeks later I'm getting fro yo with my roommate and Moira walks past the window of the yogurt shop.
    Like, you guys. I SEE HER ALL THE TIME
  15. Fall semester of junior year, I take a lit class called Lectures in Literature.
  16. Moira's there!! But it's a big lecture (~100 people) instead of a small seminar (~20 people) so I can mostly ignore her.
  17. One day this semester, I take a bus downtown with my friends. There are 8 different bus lines that go downtown from campus, and buses from each line come every 10 minutes.
  18. Basically, you're guaranteed to always get on a bus whenever you want and it will be mostly empty.
  19. So we get on one of these 8 buses and sit down.
    I look in front of me and see something familiar... A bucket hat I recognize.
  20. Hey Moira 👋🏻
    SHE WAS ON THE SAME GODDAMN BUS AS ME GOING DOWNTOWN.
  21. At this point, I'm convinced she has a tracker on me and is following me. I see her way too often for it to be a coincidence.
  22. I've seen her strolling around campus probably 15 times in the past 3 years I've been here. Not exaggerating. They're all documented, because I text my sister every damn time.
  23. Today, I was printing something in the union (in the summer) at 530 (after business hours). The building was dead.
  24. I was packing up my things next to the printer and I notice someone walk up behind me.
  25. I thought they wanted to print something, so I'm about to pick up my bag and move, but first I look behind me to make sure.
  26. I see a lady bent over, in a tank top and a bucket hat, unzipping a suitcase she has on the floor.
  27. Internally, I freak the fuck out.
  28. Moira has found me in this tiny little corner of this giant building in the evening during the summertime.
  29. Externally, I calmly finish packing up my things, walk towards the exit, and when I'm about twenty feet away I stop and turn around.
  30. I snap a pic of Moira to send to my sister and carry on with my life.
  31. At this point, what can I do?? Is this woman legitimately stalking me?
  32. I go to a huge state school in one of the US's major cities. My class had like 5000 ppl our freshman year? It should not be easy to take a class with the same person once, let alone four times.
  33. I run into my friends on accident on campus maybe a few times a year. I see Moira on accident once every few weeks.
  34. Should I be worried???