REASONS WHY PANDORA IS NOT FOR ME

  1. I like discovering new music at the rate of, like, 2 songs per month
    I am afraid of change
  2. Sometimes I like to listen to old music to "remind myself of who I used to be"
    Spoiler alert: I was and still am an obnoxious person.
  3. The stations get super fucked up super easily
    One time a Johnny Cash song showed up on my Fergie station and I starred it bc who doesn't like Johnny Cash? Famous last words, bc from that moment on the station decided it wanted to be a Johnny Cash station and not a Fergie station.
  4. The stations get super fucked up super easily PART DEUX
    Paper Planes by MIA has shown up on EVERY SINGLE ONE of my stations. Shouldn't their algorithms be a little more advanced that this doesn't happen? It's like the modern day version of "Play Free Bird!"
  5. The ads
    Fuck the patriarchy, and their ads too, I say.
  6. I inexplicably always expect the station to play the song/artist it's based on?
    This one is probably my issue but it's also really not that much to ask I feel like?
  7. It reminds me of the 8th grade
    I was in 8th grade in 2008 and this is when I first found out about pandora. FYI for all you glorious people who had a nice adolescence - 8th grade is basically the worst year of any normal person's life
  8. You can run out of skips
    This is the worst idea ever. Period.