WHY I HATE SURPRISE PARTIES

I've never actually been thrown a surprise party.
  1. So tomorrow is my birthday (!!!)
  2. And literally every year for the past 5 years (usually because of Memorial Day weekend) my friends will make some sort of plans with me weeks beforehand but then something happens and they say they can't make it at the last minute
  3. And literally every year, no matter how sincere they are, there's always some part of me that thinks "... Maybe they are actually planning a surprise party"
  4. And every year I am wrong