THINGS I'D LIKE FOR YOU TO JUST TELL ME

I'm an adult who occasionally needs grownup lessons.
  1. What cheese to serve.
    There are just so many choices! Does expensive mean better? Can other people tell when cheese is fancy because I sure as hell can't? It is all delicious. Except blue cheese. That shit is gross.
  2. What wine to bring to your house.
    I don't have time for a class. Just tell me, okay. Extra points for extreme specificity.
  3. If my pony tail looks dated
    I'm pretty sure I've been doing it the same way since college. Which for those of you who don't know me was a long time ago. Long enough that presumably pony tail fashion has changed? Maybe?
  4. How to talk about things like death and God with my children.
    Okay I don't really want you to tell me how to do this because I realize this is very different than picking out cheese and yet this is the stuff that keeps me up at night. There are no right answers in parenting and very few very wrong ones. But still this stuff is tricky.
  5. Can I wear my favorite jeans with ankle boots?
  6. How to put an emoji in a tweet.
  7. What is Periscope?
  8. Also, can you give me a primer on art history, classical music, middle eastern politics and also an explanation of why the UK show Skins is woefully uneven.