THINGS THAT ACTUALLY DO MATTER WHEN TWO PEOPLE DECIDE TO GET MARRIED
In light of the Supreme Court decision last week, I started thinking about what should be the real prerequisites to getting married. Obvi gender has nothing to do with it.
- •You have farted in front of each other.
- •You say I love you with complete ease and absolutely no worries about whether the other person is going to say it back.
- •You have discussed whether you want children and are on the same page.
- •You have met each other's families and know them well. (At least well enough to know what extended family you are connecting yourself to in perpetuity.)
- •They are the first person who you want to tell everything to, even when it's about them.
- •They celebrate your successes as if they are their own and pick you up if you fall.
- •They help you when you need it and maybe when you don't.
- •You are open and honest with each other about your finances.How much you have and how much you spend.
- •You understand each other's work.Ok this one is not strictly necessary. But it definitely helps.
- •You already know the thing you like least about the other person.
- •You understand the other's culture and religion, if different from yours.I'm in an interracial and interfaith marriage. And it's been really important for us to each understand where the other is coming from.
- •Your partner loves the way you look but not for objective reasons. But because you are you and the only person who looks like that.
- •You've traveled together.
- •You trust each other enough to go to bed angry.I know this is the opposite of most marital advice but often the best time to resolve a fight is in the clarity of the morning.
- •Maybe most importantly: not only do you love each other but you like each other too.