Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

  1. Gravity sucks.
  2. Boobs, butts and underarm flab suffer the most.
  3. Probably should develop better exercise habits early on to stave off the inevitable saggy skin for as long as possible.
  4. That skin between your saggy breasts and your chest wall is a vacation paradise for skin tags.
  5. The only thing that will delay saggy breasts is a sturdy underwire bra...worn at night...every night of your life.
  6. Wearing two pairs of Spanx at one time is doable.
  7. Leggings require wearing a shirt that covers your butt...and wearing pants.
  8. Having a paralytic poison injected into your forehead doesn't really hurt.
  9. Have a filler injected into your facial wrinkles hurts like hell.
  10. Female exams never get better.
  11. Getting injections or having your blood drawn never feels good, so suck it up and learn not to cry or faint when you see the needles.