EVERYDAY THINGS THAT MAKE ME EXTREMELY ANXIOUS
aka the many reasons I need to reevaluate my mental health. I planned for this to be funny but shit got real.
- •Getting dressedI check the weather religiously in the morning, but I'm always worried I'm going to over- or under-dress. I'm also super insecure so if I think too hard about what I'm wearing or look in the mirror for too long, I can't leave without changing. It's weird, I know.
- •Being lateEven though I almost always leave for class with plenty of time to spare, I always end up power walking and checking the time on my phone every five seconds.
- •Asking/answering questions in classI basically plan out everything I'm gonna say word-for-word in my head so that I don't make a fool of myself, but I often get flustered when called on and forget what I was even gonna say in the first place.
- •Phone callsI would rather [insert unpleasant thing here] than talk on the phone. Ordering food or talking to customer service is my worst nightmare. What if there's a bad signal or I mumble or they have an accent that I have trouble understanding? I don't wanna be a douchebag. Talking to family and friends is tolerable, but I definitely prefer texting because it gives me more time to figure out what the hell I'm even trying to say.
- •Ordering foodSimilar to class, I plan everything out beforehand. If it's a drive thru, I write everything down or make a note in my phone before I get to the window. And even when I write it down, I sometimes forget to order my burger plain. If it's a walk-in/sit-down place I typically stare at the menu for 5-15 minutes and then end up getting the same thing I've always gotten since birth. I take advantage of online ordering every chance I get.
- •Grocery shoppingEven though I always write everything down and approximate the total of everything in the cart, I'm always worried I'm forgetting something or that I'm not gonna have enough money and be mortified in the checkout line. Also, I almost always choose the cheapest option, but I weigh my options for an unnecessary amount of time, much like with the restaurant menu.
- •Waiting for the pizza guy(I'm gonna pretend like this one isn't an "everyday" thing even though it pretty much is...I have no shame) What if the pizza guy gets lost and calls me but I'm not able to tell him how to get to my dorm? I'm new to the area. I've been here for 3 months, am I still allowed to use that excuse? Again, online ordering is the best thing that has ever happened.
- •Clothes shoppingNot an everyday thing at all, but definitely one of the most anxiety-inducing things in my life. As you can probably glean from my previous points, I'm the most indecisive person you will ever meet, so having all these different deals thrown in my face is extremely stressful. Also, dressing rooms are my personal hell. I hate small, enclosed spaces and I hate examining my appearance in the mirror, but I feel like I can't stop until I find something that works. The day always ends with me crying.
- •I'm now realizing there are a ton of other things, but I'll spare you.
- •If I'm being honest, these things have only gotten worse and more numerous since I started college. I'm really trying to work on them, but it's hard.
- •I know my parents would do anything to help me, but I also know that they can't really afford for me to get back on my meds or to go back into therapy.
- •But I don't know how much longer I can cope without it, so I think I'll talk to my doctor when I go home for Thanksgiving.
- •Until then, the List App helps me make sense of things,
- •so thank you guys ❤️