THINGS THAT GET BETTER AS YOU GET OLDER VS THINGS THAT GET WORSE

  1. Sex. You know what you're doing. They know what you're doing. You know how to ask for what you want. BETTER (until you're too old/out of shape to do all the fun athletic positions, so after the apex, WORSE)
  2. Running. Remember when you used to run just for fun, not because you feel guilty about all those beers you had last night? But now when you force yourself to run for exercise, your knees are wrecked the next day. WORSE
  3. Your parents. Once you don't have to deal with their curfews and Draconian rules, you eventually gain an appreciation for everything they did for you and can have a real adult relationship with them. BETTER
  4. Appreciation of food. Do you know how much shitty food I consumed in college solely because it was free? Now that I can afford to eat better, everything tastes better. Plus I've now experienced all kinds of cuisines and my palette has improved. BETTER
  5. Friends. The good ones stick around and the longer you know them, the deeper your friendship is. BETTER
  6. Understanding of time. I always thought of time as a standard unit of measure: minutes, hours, years. But the older I get the more fluid it seems. I know this can't be logically true but I also can't explain the bizarre phenomenon of vastly different experiences of the same amounts of time passage. Befuddling. WORSE.