CONSPIRACY THEORIES ABOUT TRADER JOE'S PREVIOUS LIFE
before his rule as urban grocery market king. 👑
- •Wall Street Trader JoeThink about it. Reasonable prices on pumpkin biscotti AND pumpkin butter, even when pumpkin is on trend this season? This guy knows his business. 💸 Maybe he started on the floor.
- •Traitor JoeOh no. Probably responsible for selling U.S. secrets in exchange for decades of control over the Hawaiian shirt black market - Why else would he require all cashiers to sport the "stepdad at a family barbecue" look?
- •Trainer JoeMaybe we're being dramatic. Maybe Joe was just that way too fit dude at your local Y who always had a Doritos-orange tan in February.
- •Tater JoeBut what if the worst is true? The little-known theory that Trader Joe is not a man, but a giant tater tot capable of thought and negotiating good wholesale deals on cheap wine. We may never know.