I'm celebrating my 25th summer in Provincetown this year. An epic celebration requires an epic list. And a fabulous playlist. With outfits.
  1. make the gayest playlist ever and include songs from my summers at the pool
  2. drink a 5th of grapefruit vodka over the course of the summer (a challenge from the Mr.)
  3. have my aura photo taken with Stephen (because you can totally do that in Ptown)
  4. more teadancing at the Boatslip (bonus: get one of the flag dancers to let me twirl their flag)
  5. go on more than one sunset sail
  6. actually spend a day at the beach (it’s true what they say: when you live at the beach, you don’t go to the beach)
  7. stalk the front window at the Portuguese Bakery so I can eat malasadas hot out of the fryer
  8. go on the Cape Cod Modern House Tour again
  9. hang out at the Beachcomber with the Mr.
  10. explore the marshes by the breakwater at low tide
  11. float down the Pamet River in the light up floats I just bought
  12. eat all the garlic dishes at Terra Luna
  13. work on Stephen’s special talent so we can take home the Best in Show trophy at the end of the summer
  14. party with the bears during Bear Week (if you can’t beat ‘em …)
  15. hang a giant American flag on the front of our grey shingle-white trim home (I have ALWAYS wanted to do this.)
  16. eat a YD doughnut burger at a Cape Cod Baseball League game (yes, a DOUGHNUT burger)
  17. hike the Atlantic White Cedar Swamp trail
  18. get a permit and have a giant bonfire on the beach, toast marshmallows and dance it out to my Gayest Playlist Ever
  19. take a pedicab ride down Commercial Street
  20. wear my black angels wings somewhere
  21. see a movie at the Wellfleet Drive-in
  22. work on my costumes for the White Party and the Pink Party held during Labor Day Weekend
  23. have lots and lots of deck gatherings
  24. watch the Perseid meteor shower while lying in the dunes again
  25. chow down on a lobster at Moby Dick's
  26. fix all my disco balls and hang them outside
  27. take Stephen to Long Point on the water shuttle
  28. finally talk to our Bizarro Gay Couple that we have seen everywhere for years and have never spoken a word to
  29. go to the Ptown Gym during the summer
  30. go on the Art's Dune Tours Land and Lake Tour
  31. finally go kayaking and try not to pass out, freak out, or otherwise react to the possibility a GREAT WHITE SHARK might be following me
  32. cross the breakwater for the first time since I was in my 20s … without injury
  33. hike the dunes at Snail Road and roll down one like my sister and I did when we were kids (mouth closed this time)
  34. savor a buttermilk biscuit with pimento cheese at Pop + Dutch
  35. visit every gallery in town
  36. see more drag shows: Courtney Act, Bianca del Rio, and Scarbie for sure
  37. go on our annual Mother-Daughter Whale Watch with my mom
  38. use all my pool floats (includes not one but two flamingos)
  39. live it up during Carnival Week and rock my 80s costume
  40. in addition to our annual family bar hop, do an oyster crawl around town
  41. try the fried lobster tails at the Mayflower
  42. dress Stephen in a bowtie and take him for Happy Hour drinks on the deck at The Red Inn
  43. create a jungalow deck (MORE PLANTS! MORE PLANTS! MORE! MORE! MORE!)
  44. try early morning yoga on the deck at the Boatslip
  45. take a day trip to another Cape town and explore
  46. decorate my beach cruiser with pink lights and ride it down Commercial Street, end to end without hitting anyone or hurting myself
  47. spend one morning a week just reading on the deck
  48. get takeout pizza and watch the sunset at Herring Cove
  49. keep the frig stocked with freshly brewed iced tea and limeade
  50. make a video of my Super Silver Summer
  51. rent a pontoon boat from Flyers and bob around the harbor
  52. Go on a pilgrimage to the first Christmas Tree Shops in Yarmouthport