1. They don't steal the covers
  2. They don't gaslight you
  3. They don't leave shit all over the house
  4. They don't demand BJs
  5. They don't steal your meds or money
  6. They do their own laundry
  7. They let you hold the remote
  8. They always love to cuddle
  9. They don't care if you fart
  10. They always think you're beautiful
  11. They always listen to you
  12. They won't use your weaknesses against you
  13. Biscuits