HOW TO BETTER YOURSELF

  1. Look at yourself in the mirror and stare at the mistake that it is in front of you
  2. Touch yourself in the mirror
  3. Feel every sad and sexually confused inch of your body
  4. Look deep within your eyes and stare into the soul that never existed
  5. Realize that you are naked and covered in "I can't believe it's not butter"
  6. And go back home from your grandparents house knowing that nothing will change