THINGS I PRETEND TO BE WHEN I'M ALONE

  1. An aerobics instructor
    On days when I don't want to go outside to run, I dance to really loud music and I pretend I'm leading a class so as to not wimp out on myself. Gotta keep it up for the students, you know? Example: *loosely flaps arms while jumping randomly to Express Yourself* KEEP IT UP LADIES, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
  2. A starlet in an interview
    Starlet me never has a project to promote but loves looking coyly at invisible journalists and saying things like, "I'm all about evolving. And if you can't get with that, get out."
  3. Someone in an argument
    No argument in particular, I'll just turn to the air next to me and yell at it
  4. The star of a tragic romance
    *folds laundry* *sighs* *looks up from folding laundry* "...I never loved you." *goes back to folding laundry*
  5. Willow and Jayden Smith's bff
    They're good at pep talks and educating me about the universe. This is not sarcastic I am 100% in love with both of them
  6. Bellatrix Lestrange
    This was more of a one-off but one time my sister walked in on me pretending to have a duel with someone and it was mortifying
  7. David Bowie ⚡️
    It's always Young Americans https://youtu.be/ydLcs4VrjZQ
  8. Cool me.
    I can be so cool when I'm alone. So cool.