THINGS I PRETEND TO BE WHEN I'M ALONE
- •An aerobics instructorOn days when I don't want to go outside to run, I dance to really loud music and I pretend I'm leading a class so as to not wimp out on myself. Gotta keep it up for the students, you know? Example: *loosely flaps arms while jumping randomly to Express Yourself* KEEP IT UP LADIES, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
- •A starlet in an interviewStarlet me never has a project to promote but loves looking coyly at invisible journalists and saying things like, "I'm all about evolving. And if you can't get with that, get out."
- •Someone in an argumentNo argument in particular, I'll just turn to the air next to me and yell at it
- •The star of a tragic romance*folds laundry* *sighs* *looks up from folding laundry* "...I never loved you." *goes back to folding laundry*
- •Willow and Jayden Smith's bffThey're good at pep talks and educating me about the universe. This is not sarcastic I am 100% in love with both of them
- •Bellatrix LestrangeThis was more of a one-off but one time my sister walked in on me pretending to have a duel with someone and it was mortifying
- •David Bowie ⚡️It's always Young Americans https://youtu.be/ydLcs4VrjZQ
- •Cool me.I can be so cool when I'm alone. So cool.