THINGS I WON'T DO WITH B.J. NOVAK'S PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS

  1. Sign you up for daily cat emails.
  2. Make numerous Open Table reservations in LA with poor ratings.
  3. Make numerous Open Table reservations in LA with great ratings and long lines. Then you don't show up and get black balled.
  4. Make you an OKcupid account
  5. Send you emails of all the shows you should be a guest on.
    Shmidts cousin on New Girl, a guest voice narrator on Meerkat Manor, an upcoming new rapper on Empire... Ect....
  6. Send you paperless post emails everyday to invite you to hang out with me.
    I'll supply the snax, you bring the board games.
  7. Make you a GlassDoor account to help you find that entry level job in Forks, Washington (where Twilight trilogy was set) as an aquarium cleaner, that I know you have always wanted.
  8. Sign you up for a sororities weekly newsletter.
  9. Start several "you've got mail" love affairs for you with all of my least favorite people.
  10. Sign you up for the One Direction fan club.
  11. Enter you in many sweepstakes you do not want to be entered in.
  12. "Share" your email address with websites so that I can get extra discounts.
    Such as, GILT.
  13. Send you all the pins from Pinterest that I think you would find interesting.
  14. Email you everyday to say I love you.
  15. Send you pictures of yourself.
  16. Give my mom your email so that she can forward you all the interesting articles, facts, and videos her friends so generously forward her.
  17. Sell your email to STARmagazine
  18. Auction it on eBay
  19. Sign you up for the LA Marathon
    You have two days to prepare.
  20. Send you pictures of text that I write for you to Instagram.
  21. Sign you up for two SOULcycle classes each day.
  22. Subscribe you to at least 10 online retailers who I personally know do not unsubscribe you from the list if you ask to unsubscribe.
  23. Submit your application to be on the next season of The Bachelorette.
  24. Make a donation in your name to the Sarah McLachlan dog shelter.
  25. Sign you up for a 5am volunteer shift at the local soup kitchen for every Saturday in the months of summer.
  26. Post personal ads on Craigslist including said email address.
    Suggested by   @shannon
  27. Add him to my Rugby club's google group as an interested recruit
    Suggested by   @jgmosko