How I Keep My Wife Happy

Because a happy wife brings a happy life.
  1. Don't fart
    Pretty obvious.
  2. Leave the toilet seat down.
    But for real, can the ladies just put it back up? The bathroom rules are a two way street!
  3. Schedule date nights.
    Little romance here. Little chill burger place there. Little cards and coffee and conversation. Little Netflix and snooze cause we're old and don't do that young kid stuff.
  4. Send texts, make calls, leave notes of affection.
    It's the little things that make a big difference.
  5. Don't fart.
    Just a little friendly reminder that the lady friend don't like the farts.
  6. Non-sexual intimate touch.
    Back rubs, lotion on the feet, and snuggling are great ways to let her know I care. Also, it doesn't have to lead somewhere. Just touch without going to naked town!
  7. Cute junk from Target.
    Not sure what it is about this place and women and every single season having cute junk, but buying cute stuff from Target is a serious win.
  8. Listening.
    This one is the hardest to learn. Putting my phone down and looking at her and being intentional about listening has so much value to marriage. Seriously. Just shut up and listen!!!
  9. Don't fart.
    If at first you forget and if your reminder doesn't help then here is a third note. She just doesn't like farts. They stink. She likes you. Minus your farts. So quit it. Now.