1. You'll always have someone eager to go to Moe's with you.
    Or really 90% of restaurants.
  2. You'll always have someone to give you personally tailored recommendations for tv shows and books.
  3. You'll always hear me complain about the same things. I'm like a broken record.
    This is your cross to bear, examples: I need to quit Diet Coke; I want a new job; my dog is sick; my struggle to lose weight, etc.
  4. We'd almost never talk on the phone.
  5. I will always volunteer to drive on trips; I'm also always up for road trips.
  6. I've watched/am watching almost all the tv shows, so no matter what you're watching, I'm ready to discuss it.
  7. I have a horrible memory, so you'll be expected to remember everything about our friendship long term.
  8. I'd do almost anything to make your life easier.
    Need help around the house? Need a babysitter? Need someone to talk to on the phone so you don't look like a loser when you walk into a new place alone? Need someone to check to make sure you make it home from an online dating situation? I'd love to help.
  9. I will cross stitch for you.
  10. Laughs.
  11. Updated to add: if you run a race that is longer than 5k, I will be there and I will cheer the hell out of it.