Partially inspired by the over/under discussion on this week's Great Debates 4th of July spectacular.
  1. Hot dogs and cookouts
    Local
    Hands down, my favorite part.
  2. Swimming
    Static
    I could live in a pool in the summer. Just call me pruny fingers.
  3. Singing Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA to myself
    Giphy
    I have some choreography for it as well.
  4. Watching Independence Day
    Giphy
    With the incomparable Bill Pullman
  5. Wearing red, white, or blue
    Static
    Just doing my civic duty. Giving the people what they want.
  6. Fireworks
    Giphy
    The epitome of overrated. If you've seen one, you've seen 'em all.
  7. Wearing American flags
    Giphy
    No, thank you, sir.
  8. Watermelon
    Giphy
    Bleh. Only useful to me if greased and tossed in a pool for a pool party game. I won't be caught dead eating one.