1. Start with a nice white.
    Smooth with notes of bergamot and peach. I smile politely.
  2. Move to a soft red, perhaps a Pinot noir.
    Wonderful! Love this. It's full bodied for something like a burger yet light enough for chicken. One bottle, please. (Thinking, yay! Now my tasting fee is waived!)
  3. On to a fuller red like maybe a merlot
    Reading the menu, "hints of tobacco and deep cherry?!?" WTF, who wants that in their wine? I don't like this— Hey! no, I don't want you to take it away. I just don't like it. Downs in one gulp. What's next, Grabby McGrabalot?"
  4. Next up are a bunch of the World's Best Ever wines.
    Reds. Whites. Blues. It's all a blur but somehow I'm dropped off at home with 2 cases of random wines to try for the first time all over again.
  5. Cost of waiving the tasting fee: $697.43.
    Plus 3 wine membership. The gift that keeps on giving.