1. Developed an ulcer
    Ulcers suck. Sometimes they eat holes in your stomach. Don't get one.
  2. Waited so long to find an apartment
    The place I found is awesome, but I had to live in my parents' basement for a month. I banged my hand on the ceiling and now I have a scar. The scar reminds me of my mistake.
  3. Tried to uncork a beer without knowing how to use a corkscrew
    I didn't know to use the lever. I pulled a muscle in my chest.
  4. Stayed front and center for Flogging Molly
    I weighed 135 lbs. soaking wet. I'm not built for punk rock moshing.
  5. Expected to enjoy watching the Browns
    They suck.