2015 REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES HOGWARTS SORTING CEREMONY
Welcome to Hogwarts! Put on this crusty old hat and let it judge you.
- •Donald Trump: SLYTHERIN. Self-assured and accomplished, but possesses pride and arrogance in seemingly toxic amounts.
- •Ben Carson: RAVENCLAW. Meticulous and scholarly in certain realms, but woefully uninformed and ignorant in most others.
- •Jeb Bush: HUFFLEPUFF. Competent and loyal, but unable to truly distinguish himself as an individual.
- •John Kasich: GRYFFINDOR. Pragmatic and compassionate, but unwilling to do whatever it takes to win.
- •Ted Cruz: HOUSE ELF. Head down to the kitchens and start working on the feast.
- •Mike Huckabee: DEATH EATER.
- •Carly Fiorina: DEATH EATER.
- •Rick Santorum: DEATH EATER.