THINGS TO SAY TO A PROFESSOR WHO LOOKS LIKE A STUDENT

ALTERNATIVELY, HOW TO PISS OFF THE NEW GUY AT WORK
  1. HEY IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN GETTING TUTORED, WE OFFER SOME SERVICES
  2. ARE YOU ALLOWED TO BE USING THE COPIER?
  3. I DON'T KNOW THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN OUR KITCHEN
  4. HEY, THAT BATHROOM IS FOR FACULTY USE ONLY