The following is a sample the random people who work in my building. Oddly i dont know what company they work at. I just see them all the time in the lobby and elevator. This is the most sarcastic i've been in a long while.
  1. "Businessman" with the Bluetooth ear piece
    Hands free device... maybe you dont need to use the ear piece when your hands are empty. Also if you're holding the phone in your hand, put it to your ear and definitely dont use the ear piece.
  2. Bluetooth ear piece Part 2
    Ok seriously. If your talking using your Bluetooth, and looking at people while your talking... that makes you the weirdo, you're the asshole. Its a natural reaction for people to look at you, when you face them and start talking. You want privacy? Talk in your office.
  3. Asian Dude with Bedhead
    Buddy! WTF? You're like 30! Take care of yourself man! You're a walking stereotype, that make people think all Asian guys are dorks. You can't come in to work with a horn on the side of your head looking like a limp dick unicorn.
  4. The Closer
    Yes we know you are important. When you're on your phone talking about closing a lead, it makes us think, Wow, the soft wood commodities market sounds amazing. We are all impressed, especially the ladies, I thought I was going to have to get a mop to wipe up all the puddles they were leaving behind.
  5. The Volume Knob
    Ok buddy, you are another important person. You should trade war stories with The Closer. Why do you speak louder in the elevator than in the lobby? I understand the elevator is an enclosed space, and you might not actually be talking louder, but you definitely are. Maybe the reception is bad and you have to talk louder, or you could just wait until you get to your floor.
  6. Rude Dude... Again on the phone.
    When you are talking on the phone with some one at the office, it can probably wait the 20 seconds the elevator ride takes and you can speak to that person face to face like a human being. And maybe not treat that person like they are immaterial.
  7. The Peacock: Three Buttons Down
    Wow, nice chesticles. Its not summer yet, so i find it funny how low you have your shirt unbuttoned in the morning. I love how you always have your sunlasses on no matter if you are coming or going.
  8. The well manner gentleman
    You let people go in front of you. You hold the door for people. You say good morning or good night to everyone. Thank You. Have lots of babies and continue to be an asset to society.