THINGS I SAW WHILE TRICK-OR-TREATING IN BRENTWOOD

  1. Adam Sandler in basketball shorts (not a costume)
  2. Numerous women drinking from wine bottles, comparing cat ears, unaware of their childrens' whereabouts.
  3. A ten-year-old dressed like a Dan Tana's waiter. His father kept quietly telling us, "the cocaine is just powdered sugar."
  4. A vape pen smoking chauffeur of a Mercedes party bus unloading kids from the Palisades all dressed as Kardashians.
  5. Teenagers begging for homes to spike their candy.
  6. A couple dressed as OJ and zombie Nicole Brown.
  7. A twenty-five foot Bay Cities sandwich.