lol I'm not gonna be able to finish this all at once so it's gonna go live and then I guess I'll probably delete in the morning bc fuck me if I don't want to publish something immediately right?
  1. In all honesty, I haven't been very active around here for a while
  2. I used to feel really passionate about this community and this platform because it felt like a really unique place, where creativity was celebrated
  3. I met some of the best people I know on this dumb app. I've made some super positive changes in my life because of this app
    I wrote a sappy ass list about it once, which I would link out to but I can't because I can't fucking save a draft anymore
  4. I think everyone thought we were overreacting when they started making large fundamental changes, not to the interface but to the inherent nature of how we operate as a community in here
  5. And if we're all honest, we probably were blowing things slightly out of proportion
  6. But damn, this update really emphasizes that there is a massive chasm between what HQ wants this app to be and what the majority of the active users want it to be
  7. And that's a really shitty place for all of us to be
  8. This place used to be my oasis
  9. From October 2015 to July 2016, this app was a place for every version of me. I felt heard, understood, appreciated. I didn't have that anywhere else
  10. That's not to say the early days weren't without issue. It's really easy to romanticize the #glorydays but we also can't ignore the erasure that was painfully present multiple times over the course of this public phase
    Black women especially have told us multiple (!) times that they feel unwelcome here! That's not good! We have never ever collectively done a good job of addressing that! We have had so many opportunities to be better and we never ever do it
  11. I think we put a lot of band aids over bullet holes and thought that if we were just all ~KiNd 2 eAcH oThEr!!!!~ that everything would be okay
    Spoiler: nope
  12. But even those shitty periods were fundamental to my growth as a human. They helped broaden my perspective and teach me about empathy and listening and patience
  13. Some of my lack of enthusiasm about listing is due to creative fatigue, and just generally having less time to craft masterpieces on my phone
  14. But a lot of it is that the current iteration of this app doesn't fulfill any sort of need in my life anymore
  15. I came to looking for a safe place to stretch my legs as a writer, find my voice, to make connections with people I would have never otherwise met, and yes, to get the adrenaline rush of being praised for my content. And I'll always be grateful that I had that during a really tumultuous year of my life
  16. I'm not going to delete because I don't want to obliterate the proof I have left of this time in my life. I'm probably not even going to stop listing forever
  17. But I'm starting to feel like that weird kid who graduated 10 years ago but still hangs around my old frat house
  18. Even if we woke up tomorrow to the restoration of featured, trending, relists, etc., I don't think it would feel the same anymore
  19. I used to spend literal HOURS scrolling through this app, finding people I didn't know, searching for lists about topics I was interested in, drafting what I was SURE would go straight to #1. Now I maybe open it once? twice? a week
  20. It feels like is pushing me out. Like I'm part of some old guard they're trying to force into retirement so they can freshen up the place
  21. And maybe that's it! Maybe I've outgrown this app just like it's outgrown me
  22. Maybe it's just time for me to graduate.
  23. For the record, I don't think it's fair to say that anyone opposed to this update is just a whiner who is afraid of change. People lost years of content without any warning or any explanation. We have all put a lot of time, energy, and thought into our posts here. It's not unreasonable to be frustrated by the lack of transparency
  24. Oh and PS you'll never get rid of me completely or forever bbs!!!!!! You can try but I'll never go!!!!!!!!