1. You don't have whatever chronic illness showed up in WebMD's Symptom Checker
    Static
  2. No one will notice if you wear the same pair of pants 4 days in a row next week
    Static
  3. Next season's trends will be flattering for pear shapes
    Static
  4. Your Google Drive will never run out of space
    Static
  5. None of your friends are talking shit on you
    Static
  6. That guy you're about to run into thinks you're cute too
    Static
  7. One Direction is only on a temporary break
    Static
  8. Your tweets are funny and everyone thinks so
    Static
  9. Free furniture is right around the corner. (No literally, your neighbor will put a free dresser out on the corner next trash day)
    Static
  10. No one remembers that embarrassing thing you did in 2007
    Static
  11. Your mom thinks you call and text her often enough
    Static
  12. You're fine, promise
    Static