1. I never carry cash
    Okay but I'd argue that having my own credit card is a very adult thing? Also it's 2015 so if you don't have a square reader, I don't know what you're playing at.
  2. One time I ran out of windshield wiper fluid
    Literally just once
  3. I wear flip flops
    Not like to work or anything. Just their mere presence among my shoe collection makes him shudder
  4. I don't enjoy cop procedurals
    This is his weakest argument to date. Even worse than the windshield wiper fluid one.