Reflections on My Tinder Profile

This whole list can be summed up with a "what the FUCK"
  1. Here is my fucking default photo
  2. Here is my fucking bio
  3. Then we have me drunk and overfiltered and THROWING UP DOUBLE MIDDLE FINGERS
  4. And me scared of a goddamn horse
  5. And to clinch that swipe victory, we have my fucking trading card from 1999
  6. So to answer your question, Mom: no. I can't figure out why I haven't found a nice guy
  7. But we have Patrick and maybe we'll just have to settle for him
  8. Poor sweet dim Patrick
  9. We get what we deserve, I guess