THINGS I EXPECTED TO RECEIVE WHEN I PUT PREMIUM GAS IN MY CAR

Was very disappointed when none of these came standard with my fancy gas purchase. Where is my extra 20¢ REALLY going, huh Obama????
  1. Better gas mileage
  2. A complimentary mimosa
  3. A red carpet leading up to the pump
  4. A mink stole
  5. A swag bag
  6. Parking ticket immunity
  7. The admiration of my friends
  8. The envy of my enemies
  9. But really, why didn't it improve my gas mileage?
    I know it's only supposed to reduce "knock" in your engine or whatever but like I still thought this would be a fringe benefit?