THINGS I NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR
I just got my third flat tire in three months (like literally in exact 29 day intervals), so I need to clear my karma. Since I'm not Catholic, 🎶these are my confessions🎶
- •⛈IS THIS PUNISHMENT FOR DRIVING WITHOUT A LICENSED DRIVER IN THE FRONT SEAT?!?!?!⛈Nah it's probably one or all of these things
- •I called in sick two weeks ago because I needed mental health daysI went to the movies and drove around aimlessly both days because I didn't want to tell my parents I called out
- •When I was on my List App break, I still logged in to creep but didn't like anything so no one could tellYOU CAN TAKE THE GIRL OUTTA LIST APP.....
- •I posted my cousin's wedding invite on Instagram specifically to confuse my friendsWe have the same name and used to have so much fun confusing our friends on the Internet. But since she's getting married in March, I only have a few more weeks to use this CLASSIC internet prank
- •I occasionally download music from Tumblr and mp3minerI'M NOT MADE OUT OF MONEY
- •Sometimes I read text messages in my notifications tab so the read receipt doesn't go throughDefeating the purpose of having my read receipts on
- •I forgot to write a poem for English class in 5th grade so I turned in a slightly altered version of lyrics to Steps' Deeper Shade of BlueI have harbored this guilt for 15 years and it's DEBILITATING
- •In 2014, my coworker and I went to Vegas for vacation and both told our families it was for work so they wouldn't bother usWorth it tbh
- •I haven't walked my dog in like a weekI'M SORRY DEVO I KNOW YOU'RE ANTSY
- •PLEASE BLESS MY LEFT FRONT TIRE SO THAT IT MAY REMAIN FULLY INFLATED AND UNDAMAGED. IN YOUR NAME WE PRAY AMEN.