THINGS I NEED TO GET OFF MY CHEST BEFORE LIST APP INEVITABLY RELEASES AN ANDROID VERSION

I have a visceral reaction when I see Android devices. Here's why
  1. What the FUCK is this font and why do grown adults use this?
    Is this an actual joke how do you look at that and think "wow I am a grownup"
  2. How does the lack of a grid system on the home screens not drive them crazy???
    You can just place icons anywhere on the screen??? It looks so messy??? I get angina just looking at the screen for my dad's Galaxy S4
  3. How do you sync music and podcasts??
    iTunes is so intuitive I feel like??
  4. Pictures taken with droid devices always look they were taken on a potato
    Look at this mess it looks like it was taken on a flip phone in 2006
  5. Green text bubbles are ugly af
    This is Apple's fault. Why couldn't they have picked a color that was less abrasive. It just looks harsh and pukey
  6. The loud DROOOOID sound they make when they turn on and off will be the last sound I hear as the devil drags me to hell
  7. It just looks so messy in general, the whole design and UX drives me crazy
    LOVE URSELF. STOP BUYING THESE DEVICES. (@sarahgorman did I use UX right?)
  8. The whistle notification sound is the sound of Satan himself.
    Suggested by   @franksars
  9. People who prefer androids are INSUFFERABLE about whatever "open source" is.
    Suggested by   @sophiack
  10. My husband had to read the guidebook to figure out how to set the alarm. Apple- what's to figure out? Just slide the switch over. DONE. NO GUIDEBOOK REQUIRED
    Suggested by   @k8zinker