WHY ONE DIRECTION SHOULD HIRE ME AS THEIR UNDERSTUDY
FOUND IN MY DRAFTS // Now that they're a four piece (RIP Zayn), 1D would be smart to hire someone to step in if any of them get sick or has an emergency on tour. And by someone, I mean me.
- •I know all the parts to all the songsHarmonies included. And I can hit all the notes except like 2. But pay me $38 million and I'll learn to whistle like Mariah, I promise
- •I know all their lyrics, probably better than themDefinitely better than they do, TBH.
- •I wouldn't need a bathroom break mid-show because I'm a professionalI don't wanna brag but I basically have an industrial sized bladder from driving back and forth to Pittsburgh without pit stops.
- •I know when to yell "YOU SING!" during Little Things and WMYBI also know approximately when Liam says "shake it" in the background (hint: it's about every 3 minutes)
- •I can translate fan signs for themNiall would have known about "chonce" way earlier if I was on board"
- •I would clarify any on stage banter so fans wouldn't have to wonder what was going on"They're just talking about how cold it is, calm down Tumblr shippers" or "Louis just told Liam he is still very hungover"
- •I can recite Niall's speech before Don't Forget Where You Belong"I wrote this song with a band called McFly, who is the band I wrote this song with. McFly. This song. I wrote it. With McFly" or whatever
- •I don't need my own car or hotel roomDon't worry about adding my lodging into the budget, I can bunk up with Neil
- •I also only wear 4 different outfits on a regular basisSo wardrobe wouldn't be a problem
- •I have like 30 pairs of black jeansSee above
- •I have experience wearing heeled boots so I wouldn't fall the fuck over every showTake notes, Harry
- •My hair is only a little bit longer than Harry's so people might not actually notice the differenceSlap some temp tattoos and a pair of sparkly boots on me and call me Styles
- •I would always be gracious and excited about promo/shows/obligations because HELLO I'm in One Direction and I am worth approximately $47 trillion so life is p goodFor more details about what a good fucking celeb I would be: REASONS I WOULD BE AN AMAZING CELEBRITY
- •I can't flip my mic like LiamBut honestly that's still a notch in the pro column