HOW I MAKE COLLEGE FRIENDS

  1. Live a little
  2. Run away when you're done talking to people
  3. Avert eye contact with the frat boy you drunkenly sang Diana Ross with last night
  4. stay in room at all costs
  5. Aggravate pimples so people can't focus on what you're talking about
  6. Don't be this guy - this boy called me a bitch ln. I think he was trying to flirt. His name is Trent so I guess it's my fault for not expecting he'd be a poop.
  7. Be true to yourself. This has manifested for me by eating pasta for my last 6 meals.