FICTIONAL NAMES ON SEINFELD AS RANKED BY WHETHER I WOULD WANT THAT NAME

  1. 1.
    Kel Varnsen
    Not today Kel. What's that short for? Kelly? I only knew one boy named Kelly growing up. Not. A. Fan.
  2. 2.
    Art Vandelay
    Is this a person or a a painting? No thank you.
  3. 3.
    Susie
    Better but sounds like a doll's name.
  4. 4.
    H. E. Pennypacker
    This is workable. I like the initials. Sounds distinguished and mysterious. And with all those pennies must be stinkin rich.
  5. 5.
    Doctor Martin Van Nostrand
    Here we go. First of all cool to be a doctor. Then I like the last name Van Nostrand. Sounds like a family in the Illuminati.