1. Things you can say to your dog but not your partner:
  2. Who's a good boy?
  3. Stop eating out of the kitty litter!
  4. Why are you licking yourself?
  5. One more dead squirrel on the porch and I'm taking you to a "farm" upstate!!!!!!
    Suggested by @jennifergster
  6. Something something chasing bunnies.
    Taking a page from @HisDudeness style of joke telling.
    Suggested by @jennifergster
  7. You need a bath!
    Suggested by @NumbahTwo
  8. I'm taking you to the neighbors so they can breed you.
    Suggested by @HisDudeness
  9. I was really looking for a full bred
  10. Stop humping my leg!
    Suggested by @HisDudeness
  11. Fetch!!!
    (Or is that appropriate now? I haven't dated in a bit)
    Suggested by @kate81
  12. No Licking!
    Suggested by @Kateo123
  13. The doctor was right when he said we should've neutered you.
    Suggested by @HisDudeness